Although not my normal genre, sometimes people have asked me to try my hand at more adult oriented pieces. Either for a specific contest on a poetry site or just a dare. These few pieces here are what I came up with, and more than likely won’t be adding to it… The first is a tribute to Jack Kerouac…the rest I have no explanation for…Remember you have been warned….lol,
on your knees
in front of me
all you Fucking
i’ll spread it far
and i’ll spread it wide
just make sure
just make sure
if you want
to give me wood
YOU FUCKING HACKS
when it cums
You don’t know Jack
under the Influence
the band’s last break
hop in the front seat
of the 280z
for a couple fast lines
shit already sucked down
2 fifths of Yukon
3 grams of coke
a case of beer
still had plenty of kick
left, I’d need it, too
she was hot
backseat bukkake queen
party girl pass-around
after i’d get firsts
learned real good
about the fast life
Drink himself Blind
the boys in the band said,
Amen, for what he created
just as long as
you kept her
maybe it’s better
dear old Dad can’t remember
the love toy he carved
she didn’t hate him
just hard to respect
a man that traded
her blonde curls in
for a bottle of scotch
she had lightning
in her thighs
banged like thunder
if Daddy could just see her now
under the influence
Pope Goes The Weasel
used to have
sexy as fuck
’round a hard
(Holy Mary mother of…)
…Never did make it
beneath those black
cloaks (wonder if they
wear big white cotton bloomers)
now i can only cum
when you spank me
just like they did (old habits
Gotta love catholic school
On her back
On the chin
she was slippery
like freezing rain
have turned to
(spread-eagle) on top
to piss their name on her bobble head
Fuck if I cared
she was the perfect…
being thrown around a bit
should have seen how
She always stuck
to my windshield
the only way
to get her
was to turn up
on the ground
like a soggy cum rag
and all i can say is
it’s a good fucking thing
I fucking hate
One Bourbon, One Scotch, Here, Here
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been
friends with someone, decisions have to be made.
No matter how hard it might be, people have to move on.
It was that way with Jack.
We had been close friends for nearly two years now.
But this was the last straw. It had happened too many times.
Jack Daniels and I could no longer be friends….
I would find another. I always did. Somewhere I
remember someone saying Johnny Walker never let them
down. It was time to put this to a test.
In the meantime, I had to get out of my latest
predicament. And it was bad. Real bad.
Sure, I’ve had worse, I suppose. Like the time I woke up with my
arms wrapped around a couple of old MacDonald’s sheep
after drinking 3 cases of beer. Since then, I never
touch the stuff.
He kicked me off the farm for good that time. Said
catching me with the heifers was one thing, at least they could protect themselves.
The sheep, he screamed, were defenseless!
But the thing that laid beside me now…Argh…she could
have been my grandmother’s Grandmother. The kind of woman whose nipples dragged on the pavement when she walked.
Last night, I remember her as having the whitest teeth I’d ever seen.
Now, there they are, floating in a soda glass on her nightstand.
And the smell! It was everywhere. Almost like it was
stuck to my face. Then I realized….it was.
I kept thinking…hoping…that maybe I had eaten a greasy fishfry for dinner last night with a large side order of cottage cheese.
But no amount of wishful thinking was gonna work this time.
Not when I finally realized that I never even had dinner last night.
I almost puked.
I had to get out of here without waking her (at least,
I hoped she was only sleeping).
When I hit the street, I noticed it was 9am. Oh yeah, just the right hour to get acquainted with my new friend, Johnny Walker.
Didn’t have to go very far. Just about 4 blocks down there was this friendly lookin’ corner bar called Rosie’s.
So I slid on in.
Whew! What a night.
As I lay there with my head throbbing, I realized I wasn’t at my own place. I looked around to get my bearings.
That’s when I saw her.
She was laying right there next to me with her back against mine.
First thing I noticed was her hair. It was long and black and smelled like…man, only way I can describe it is it smelled like heaven.
I slowly reached around and felt two huge firm breasts.
I mean firm like cement. Felt like I must have hit the jackpot.
She started to giggle and all I could think was, “Thank you,God,” as I reached my hand down between her legs.
This girl had, I mean, this girl had…
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!
This girl had a HARD ON!
And I mean, FUCK!
I couldn’t remember anything about what happened last night.
So I just turned over real quick and laid there trying to remember, wracking my brain for a memory.
That’s when she turned around and said, “Well, if you really want me to go first, better hand over the KY, baby.” My eyes immediately wandered over to the nightstand. That’s when I saw it. A brand-new, 32 ounce bottle of Rosie’s special scented KY jelly. Only it wasn’t brand-new anymore.
In fact, it was half empty.
That was when I screamed, which in turn made her yell,
“Oh! Boy! Here we go again.” I wasn’t sure how long I laid there after that, but I heard her screaming, “OH GOD!!!.
And that’s when it hit me. Like a motherfuckin’ dam bursting.
It filled me with the realization of what I now had to do.
There was only one clear choice. And, no shit, it pained
me to think about it, but the consequences of doing nothing
were far too great. So I got up, put my clothes on, and hobbled
my way back home.
As I lay there in that hospital bed, the doctor came in and said,
“Son, I have some good news and I have some bad news.
Bad news is we couldn’t find a plumber willing to take
apart your garbage disposal to retrieve your penis.
Probably wouldn’t have done any good anyway since the
thing was still running when the ambulance picked you
up. The good news is you can still piss, but that’s about all you’re going to be doing with it from now on.”
That was all I needed to hear.
In a couple days, maybe a week, I’d be back out there.
Only this time, I’ll go find all my old friends: Jack, Johnny, Bud and all the rest. And I won’t have to worry anymore about all the trouble my fucking pecker got me into time and time again.
Sometimes, a man has to do what a man has to do……..