…Thoughts…

I’m starting this page to give you a little glimpse at what lies ahead. Small excerpts from future projects that I’m working on.
I have many ideas swirling around in my head, sometimes it starts with just a title and mushrooms out from there or maybe a short rhyme.
Besides the series I have already started that you can read on this website.I’m also up to chapter 14 in a children’s chapter book based on the poem “The Dragon and the Butterfly.” I have many more ideas that I need to put into words.
Mostly my writing is geared towards children as I feel that a child’s imagination is something worth fostering. I don’t know what I would have done in my life without people like, J.M Barrie, C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Walt Disney, and the list goes on. Maybe a child can get lost in the adventures or stories I write, Maybe it will give parents and children a little one on one time reading together. So without further ado.

 

This came to me and I know I have more than enough things to work on right now but I had to get it down before I lost the thought, lol…still in the editing stages…anyway something I will be adding to later…

The Bundle of Wonder

It’s finished!!!! A new children’s rhyme…you can find it here

A Bundle of Wonder

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Like I said sometimes it starts with just a title:

Platypus Zac and Boll Weevil Blue

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Hey
You need a little rain for the old tadpole
You need a little rain just to cast your pole
You need a little rain to see a new rainbow
You need a little rain or the grass won’t grow

Now platypus zac, he lived in a shack
Down in the sassafras swamp
Every night by the fireflies light
You could hear his guitar “Chomp”
His steel harp sang from the heart
With a little “sassafras” stomp

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more to come

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Finished:

The Yellow Buttoned Jacket

 

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As I reached up for the heavens
Plucking stars out of the sky
I heard the voices calling me
I heard the angels cry

Please carry me gently
Across the sands of seven seas
Through the light of one tomorrow
To the lands of make believe

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When the wind is on the howl
the trees will start to creep
along the misty hollow
up and down muddy creek

The fish will start their feeding
as the insects come to play
and the moon is being greedy
as he shames the sun away

when night is just a newborn
the day, a weathered dote
the creek that feeds the lakeshore
sheens in its brand new coat

the lake is dark and choppy
the moon jumps break to break

dusks a new beginning
dawns a memory

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There’s a hole in the sky
where three stars that once stood
I’d name them by name
if only I could

They sparkled so brightly
such a gleam in my eye
till I tripped on the earth
as they fell, from the sky

they lit up the lake
as I stood on the shore

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….

The stars said good-bye
As the sun filled the sky
The moon he just sighed
With a tear in his eye

The trees bent down low
With a fistful of seeds
Wherever you’re going
You just might need these

I opened my pack
That was filled with remorse
A few old excuses
And some par for the course

I was starting a journey
I didn’t know where
I just knew in my heart
I’d find better out there

As I tossed in the seeds
What went threw my mind
Was I willing to loose
In order to find

I stood as I turned
Waved goodbye to my past
Took a step forward
The candles still burning
Though the flames fading fast
As the life that it fights for
Reflects on the glass
Still the window and mirror
Are one and the same
In that one shows us sorrow
The other shows shame
With our nose pressed against them
Do we happen a glance
Or do we just sit out the dance…

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The day held its breath
As death like heavy rain
Fell
Saturating the ground
The earth heaved
The weight of its burden
To heavy
Trees shook releasing
The forbidden fruit
To rot on the ground
A reminder

Until the rivers and lakes
Could hold know more
Overflowing into the cities

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With tears of mistrust
In the blink of a lie
There’s death on the ground
There’s blood in the sky
Sacrifice living
To mourn for the dead
With light as a feather

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There’s a plane in the water
A boat in the air
So many people
Going nowhere

There’s sand in the winnow
A blink in the lie
Death on the pavement
Blood in the sky

Take one more offering
So we may mourn
Continue our living
Without being born

A shock off the wire
We do what we do
A ten second movie
Reds got me blue

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The pines bow low, the yellow leaf
As snow slides down, the mountains peak
The winter quilt draped on the chair
To stay the chill that’s in the air
Wood is piled high outside
As chimney sweeps yuletide
Children fill their bags with sweets
As all will plan thanksgiving feasts
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You can run away
You can go astray
You can find your way
You can love today

Just turn around
You can feel it pound
In your head
In your heart
Just listen to the sound

When your tears turn the granite to foam
When your heart feels heavy as stone
When life leaves you naked and alone
When your tears bring you far from home

You know that I’m here
I’ve always been near
Just say the word
Just say you heard

I will take you far away
Leave just run away
We will steal
Steal our hearts away

We will steal
Steal our hearts away

When your tears turn the granite to foam
When your heart feels heavy as stone
When life leaves you naked and alone
When your tears bring you far from home

I will take you far away
Leave just run away
We will steal
Steal our hearts away

We will steal
Steal our hearts away

It’s the same old story
All the pain without glory
You can hide for now
Close you eyes for now

Just know
Know that I’m here
Remember I’ve always been near
Just say the word

I will take you far away
Leave just run away
We will steal
Steal our hearts away

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Here’s one I’ve been working on, a fantasy Christmas story with a twist.
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No Title Yet
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life has a way of coming off track
like a runaway train
you may never get back
though if you believe
in magic, in dreams
then Christmas time miracles
are just what they seem

“I don’t want to go skating
I hate Christmas Eve
I hate Santa, his reindeer
I will never believe!”

“now Annie get ready
stop your fussing my dear
we all will be going
as a family this year”

Annie looked at her mother

“I don’t want to go skating
It’s so cold I’ll just freeze
while my friends all get presents
under big Christmas trees
I get second hand clothes
a few wooden toys
what’s so good about Christmas
for me to enjoy”

Annie grabbed her old coat
as she stormed out the door
her mother cried to her
but Christmas means more
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This is something I started awhile ago. It’s a story of a family with more love than money, lessons taught and lessons learned.
I really hope to finish this someday sooner than later. Someday when I have more time to write.

The Christmas Cupboard

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Ever run barefoot down a dirt path, I mean… run, not another thought in your mind…just running…next thing you know, burdocks! Thousands, well at least hundreds, they just stick to you…No Kidding! That’s just the way life was sometimes! Once and awhile you could jump over these obstacles or sometimes they just stuck right to you.

I remember springtime in the flower garden, and the dew lining up along the crest of each leaf waiting for its turn to make it’s passing to the ground. Sometimes if I were in the right mood I would sit and stare at them for hours, watch them fall. It seemed that some of them would take the whole afternoon to hit the grass, and soon as it was over it was the next ones turn. So on and so on.

There always seems to be that first flower in the garden, the one that springs up right away having to be first. Being so majestic and so full of grandeurs being the only color in the garden. So full of itself, but then realizing that standing alone and naked against old man winters last snowfall was to much pain to bare. Seeing everything else come into place together sharing in the beauty of the whole, but for the first flower only being able to share in this most spectacular time a short while. For what being there first and alone gave it, it also takes away; this flower would not be able to share in the splendor of the garden very long. Maybe this is Mother Nature’s way of mimicking life, showing us what our lives could be like, pointing out our flaws, showing us all the answers if we would just look around us. The dew lining up aimlessly at the top, lining up just waiting to take it’s fall, nourishing the garden so that the flowers will bloom, that first flower getting all the attention to soon and then dying before it can share fully in the beauty of the garden.

It seems as though this means something more to me now than it did at 14, maybe that’s what your mind does to you. It shows you things through out your youth so that you may reflect on them, as you get older.

Maybe I just had too much time on my hands. I’ve told this story every year now for at least the past eight years, each class getting a slightly altered version of the same, just a little different. This year I remembered the garden, last year the old farmhouse, it doesn’t matter which beginning, they all shared the same ending. It was all about love, and sharing, the importance of unity, and how they were taught to me. I teach sixth grade and every year around Christmas time I tell my class this story, a chapter in my childhood.

I grew up a fast learner, and everything my dad taught me I remembered. He showed me the things I couldn’t learn in school. Like how to keep the toilet from running all the time, or the lawnmower cutting for one more year. My father would and could fix just about anything. Not because he liked to so much, but out of necessity. We were poor and we didn’t have much, so what we did have was kept working until it became too expensive or old to fix. Neither one of us knew at the time that all the things he taught me would be put to use. You see my dad wouldn’t be with us much longer. But that’s getting ahead of the story.

I was the oldest son of four kids; ultimately it would be my responsibility to take care of these things when the time came. Like that first flower in the garden, all my father’s dreams would end too soon. And it would be us, his family that would be left standing alone and naked. Before he left though he would teach me and my brothers and sisters everything we needed to know about love, family, and how important it was to stay together. What he couldn’t teach us he left to our mom who would carry his torch until the day she passed away also. Or mom who this story is really all about was able to watch us all grow into young adults and was able to carry on were dad left off. His undying love for her would spill out over the years brining us together as a family, teaching us the true meaning of the words unconditional love.

They say that there are people made for each other soul mates as to speak. My father always said my mother and him were lucky to find each other. That it was unfair to only have one lifetime to find and share with that one special person. The one truly meant for you. My mom always said that you would be able to tell, something in the eyes like two stars streaking across the nighttime sky. She would say, “I don’t know how to explain it but you will know.” “It’s not like the puppy eyes you have when you think you’re in love; it’s more a deep look, a gaze that can span across rooms.” She always said, “It’s not like those sparkly eyes you see in the movies, more like a glow almost a feeling”. So that’s the way it was, the way it began. With my father and mother us kids and a very lucky family, my family. Dirt was a common thing where I grew up. That’s why when you dropped your candy bar on the ground you just picked it up, wiped it off, and started eating it without even thinking about it. Because as common as dirt was, me having a candy bar meant it was Christmas or I just spent the afternoon working on old man Oliver’s farm. Well since it was the middle of June, Christmas was a long way off. Besides the chaff on my clothes was a dead giveaway that I sweated the afternoon away in the haylofts. I didn’t care; all I knew was that candy bar was the sweetest tasting thing [next to moms honey caramel sweet rolls another thing that only came once a year] that I had ever tasted. I didn’t feel guilty about having it, after all my brother and sisters couldn’t see me, besides I worked hard for it. I would always save a piece for my younger brother and sister; they were too young to work and always appreciated it. Besides it always made me feel good to.

I did manage to pick up some powdered milk; two loaves of bread, and some peanut butter that I heard my mom say we needed, so all was good. The bread and peanut butter would be dinner tonight along with some left over for lunch the next day. Any money that was left over I would give to my mom to spend as she saw fit. Things were really bad since dad died; it was all my mom could do to keep a roof over our heads. The house we lived in was purchased when dad was alive. Mom and dad had dreams for it, but dreams are what they are, just dreams. So now that he was gone we had all we could do just to keep the cold out. Any clothes given to us that didn’t fit were used to fill the holes in the walls and the cracks under the doors so we wouldn’t freeze in the winter. We all helped out mom and each other all we could it was the right thing to do; besides dad wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Did you ever have one of those feelings? I mean one of those thoughts; you seem to dwell on them, like hearing a song first thing in the morning, you just can’t get it out of your head until you lie down to sleep at night. It was like that with dad, even though he’s been years gone now, I still think of him each and every day. Sometimes you just don’t know were the meters going…how many of us know our fathers? …Know what he’s been threw…know the pain and joy he carries inside? I rest my case. So whatever I felt was right in my heart, whatever I felt he would want me to do, I would do. When Mom said it was time to do something, it was time, and we all helped. No matter how big or small the task, we all pitched in. After all we were all each other had and we were a family. I loved doing what I could, call it torture or call it feeling sorry, it doesn’t matter as long as I was involved… Although I was always involved!!!!!! My mom was able to keep busy cleaning or doing laundry for some of the more well to do people in town. They new they could trust her after all my father had gained their respect, and all of them knew that she wouldn’t be any different. Sometimes when Mr. Russell would need help down at his store he would call on my mom to help. This way she could work for groceries or the things she would stash away in the cupboard. We didn’t know it then, but the reason this cupboard always stayed locked would come to light, as we got older. And as we got older we would all contribute threw out the year. We would never tell each other what it was that way when it was opened we all would be equally surprised. So begins the story, the story of the cupboard. What us kids would remember as the Christmas cupboard.

When you didn’t have much, everything seemed special. You learned that even a bag of hand me downs was nothing to be ashamed of. In fact some of the stuff mom would bring home still had the tags on it. I could never figure out why uptown people did this? Did their moods change that quickly? Wrong color, gifts they were too busy to return? Either way we would end up with them so at least their purchases wouldn’t go unappreciated.
Like I said I was the oldest son of four children. There was my younger brother Garrett he was eight, my younger sister Lynn she was six, then my older sister Jenny, we called her Jen, she was fifteen, As for me I’m Nicholas, Nick for short, I was fourteen. Then there’s my mom her name is Sara. We grew up at the end of a dirt road about a mile from town; most of the well to do people lived in town. They worked in the city either getting there by car or taking the train down at the station house. They just liked living in the country I guess. I couldn’t blame them much; I’d been to the city to many people. So it was pretty quite around our house. We had neighbors. Mostly families just like us, except the thing that seemed missing in each of them was the closeness. Some of the dads drank too much, sometimes both parents. Or they seemed just plain lazy always looking for that pot of gold or the next get rich quick scheme that would transport them from dust of our dirt road to the blacktop and lights of the big city. Some of the kids on our side of the tracks only had one parent like us, either from death or just plain running out on them. Mom would tell us kids that none of it was their fault it was just one of the hardships of being poor. The only thing I knew was, if ‘not’ being a family and helping each other and sticking together were a hardship from being poor. Why then didn’t it affect us?
Growing up as we did the holidays where always a special time around our house. It wasn’t because of the material things we received we were poor so we never got a lot of presents. It was how it brought are family together. The bonds that tied us together as a family seemed to grow even stronger around the holidays. From thanksgiving on up to Christmas we grew stronger as a family.

Mom was active in the church, always helping out when she could. So the rest of us helped too, it was a place where we could socialize with our friends, and it seemed the church always had something going on. Since dad had passed away we spent every thanksgiving at the church. We would help set up for the annual dinner and help dish out the food and clean up afterwards. We would all look forward to the big dinner the church offered and made sure we gave our thanks to God for what we received that day. The church would also bring us a couple of bags of groceries around the holidays. From this mom would save what she could for our Christmas dinner. Then after Christmas mass we would all come home and sit around the table for our Christmas feast.

One year the church brought a bag full of toys for us kids I remember her telling the pastor that we didn’t need them that he should give them to the children of the families less fortunate. Us kids never understood what she meant by this. Especially Jen, there were so many things she wanted. I remember her pleading with my mom one time to at least let us look and see what was in the bags. Mom would always say that there was no sense in tempting ourselves and send them back any way. Jen screamed at her, told her she wasn’t being fair and she was only thinking of her self, not the rest of us. Mom would just turn around and tell us that fortune in a family wasn’t measured by how much money you had in your bank account or how many presents you had under your Christmas tree. This infuriated Jen even more so she started in on how much she hated being poor, how she hated her life and how much things would be different if dad were still alive. The last part of this went right threw my mom, you could just tell. She looked at Jen, then at the rest of us. Tears started to form in her eyes; she told us how sorry she was to make us all feel this way. Then she turned around and walked out the door. We didn’t know what to say, we just looked at Jenny, she looked at us started crying and told us how sorry she was. Then all four of us ran out the front door to find mom.

It took us a while, finally we heard her crying and talking to someone in the back yard. Maybe it wasn’t right, us spying like we did but we all got real quiet and hid around the side of the house so we could see whom she was talking to and what she was saying.

We heard her say, “God this is Sara, I know I shouldn’t be talking to you like this but why Lord? Why? Did you have to take Will? He was a good man lord, a husband and a father, and we all miss him so much.” Mom was sobbing by now. “It’s just not fair Lord, you expect us to carry on without him, every day was a struggle just to get threw, how strong do you think we are? Couldn’t you see how much we needed him? How much we depended on him? He was all we had Lord, He was all that kept us from falling apart, how could you be so unfair?” Mom stopped there for a while and became real quite, her crying had come under control some. We all figured we better get back in the house so we quietly went around to the front door and snuck back in.

After about twenty minutes or so mom came back in the house, her eyes still red from crying. We were all sitting on the couch and when she stopped in the doorway Jenny ran up to her and threw her arms around her. “Mom I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t mean what I said, I love you mom and I love my brothers and sister too”. Mom patted Jen’s back and stroked the back of her head, “I know you didn’t mean it Jen, don’t worry its ok, we all have to vent sometimes, we all miss dad very much.” Garrett looked at mom and said, “Where’d you go momma?” She looked at him and smiled “I just went to talk to God honey” Garrett got real quiet, “What did he say momma?” “Well Garrett, God told me not to worry, He told me that we still have each other, and everyday we carry your dad in our hearts, he told me that your dad misses us too.” With that mom smiled, reached out her arms and gave us all a big hug.

That was the last time we ever talked about the bags of presents and the next time someone showed up with a bag full of gifts, Jenny met them at the door and said that we were very grateful for the thought but we didn’t need them, so please take them to someone less fortunate than us. She said, “You see fortune in a family isn’t measured by how much money you have in the bank or how many presents you have under the tree, it’s measured by how much love you carry in your hearts for one another.” Then she would shut the door, Lynn and Garrett would start giggling and mom, she would try to hide her smile.

Sometimes in life we have to learn to accept certain situations whether we want to or not. We can’t let life’s hardships drag us down to the point of giving up, just as we can’t let the good things keep us in the clouds. Somewhere there’s a point in the middle where gratitude and acceptance meet.

It seemed that’s the way it was with us kids. None of us liked the idea of our father passing on; we just accepted it as part of gods plan. On the other hand we were lucky for the person he chose to be his wife and our mother. She taught us that our station in life wasn’t any different than anyone else’s. It was what we made it. Being poor really weren’t any different than being rich; it just meant we learned to do more with less. It also taught us that just as the people with money had to work hard to keep it, we had to work just as hard to gain it. It taught us that we shouldn’t show animosity towards any one. For as many people that there were better off than us there was just as many worse off. This is what our mother taught us and for that we were grateful.

If I could turn back time, if I were able to tell my father one thing, it would be to thank him for giving us kids our mother.

There were woods in back of our house, a place where I spent my quiet time. I didn’t have a lot of time to myself but every once and a while I would be able to slip back to my favorite spot under an old oak tree and just watch, listen and appreciate.

Did you ever wonder why an ant, a small and seemingly insignificant creature would spend all its time and effort trying to move something four times its size, across what seemed like miles of rough terrain? It’s not like it woke up that morning and thought, Lets see, if I go out today and find a rock four times my size and drag it back to my anthill I could put it right out front and paint my house number on it. It just didn’t work that way. There was a reason for all its hard work. The thing that always made me think was how it never gave up, no matter how hard its task or how many obstacles were in its way. It just worked harder. No matter how many hardships it encountered it never gave up. Was that Mother Nature again trying to show us that anything in life that we truly needed we would have to work for? That no matter how many obstacles are in our way giving up wasn’t an option? Was nature trying to show us something? Was God trying to show us the answers? Teaching us by example? Have we made our lives so complicated that we refuse to see the things that are right in front of us. Maybe the answers we need, don’t take thousands of words to sum up. Maybe everything we’re looking for in life can be explained in one sentence, maybe even one word……

to be continued

Of course nothing on this page is written in stone……….YET!!!

 

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